SOMETHING NEW

Hi there

So, lately I've been thinking. What if I make my content a bit different than others.
But how?
Well, I have some idea to write here. And I need you guys to tell me which one is the best.

Now, the first is something like a photo essay. Where I'll post some pictures with background story about it, or just a story with a picture. This thing will help me because I feel like I'm not that good with words, I mean I can't write tons of words or make it beutiful. Cons, well that will keeps me busy with connecting my story with my pictures or the other way around.

Second one will be an offline podcast, you guys knew it right? Well basically I'll talk about something, maybe with someone, about something but I'm not doing it live. I will share it at the same day maybe but you'll not hear it as I speak at that time. I feel this is helping if I want to talk about something that a bit tricky to write or if I don't feel like writing but I want to talk about something. Cons is you guys might be can't enjoy it like you enjoy writing or audio visual. Imagine listen to a radio but without music, just people talking about things.

And the last one using a video, I'll be using motovlogs as my guidelines. I will talk about something on the road, with a chance of talking about what happened around me as I speak. The content will be extremely interesting in my opinion because you can enjoy the view as you hear me talking. From the city into village near a mountain or maybe a beach, careless driver to unsung heroes, you and I will see it probably. Cons is of course it's not cheap, I need a camera which I don't have it. Lulz. And... I don't know. Sometimes I feel bore when I see some of that thing.

Well, that's it guys!
What do you think?
Should I stick to one, or should I use all three of it?
Whatever it is, I just want you to enjoy this blog more than you're used to.
You guys can comment if you want to, I'll be listening to all of your suggestions

Cheers guys!
Stay safe.

WELL, THAT'S LIFE

Do you ever make a choice in your life, that at that time you think like "aw yea this is going to be fine, a bit rough but it'll be fine"?

I did, back then. And now I feel a bit of regret.

You see, you gotta make a choice in your life. Every single moment of your life is an option that you've got to choose. And you damn sure that there is no room for stupidity.

Well, jujur gue sekarang lagi dalam tahap penyesalan yang teramat sangat dalam. And THANK GOD, hal itu terjadi sekarang. Meskipun gue sempet mikir "hell, why now?" Tapi semua terjadi karena pilihan gue sendiri.

Banyak pilihan dalam hidup gue yang ternyata salah, dan dulu gue pilih and I'm fine with that at the time. Tapi sekarang gue sadar, gue gobloknya luar biasa.

Gue punya orang tua, well ibu, yang sayang sama gue. Dan ketika dia kasih wejangan tentang dunia kuliah, malah gue kacangin. First of all, I'm a bit of a rebel. Tapi gue ngga berontak dengan cara kekerasan, gue memilih keras kepala dan mencoba hal yang sebetulnya diluar kemampuan gue. Singkatnya, gue ceroboh. Alright so, ada satu kalimat yang ibu gue selalu bilang "fokus kuliah, berorganisasi boleh, kegiatan diluar kampus boleh, tapi ingat kuliah dan jangan coba-coba cari uang sebelum lulus kuliah". I was thinking "what the hell? Trus gue kuliah ngapain aja dong? Belajar doang tanpa explore kemampuan gue?" Dan saat itu gue berontak. And I regret it now. My mom never went to college, but she know a lot about life, furthermore she know me a lot better than myself. 2.5 years in college, my grade dropped like hell. I call my mom and I cried, and at that time my mom taught me about tough love. She said "now get up, stop all this right now, and sort it out yourself. Find a way to make it up". And boom, at that time I man up an I learn how to deal with a problem.

Tonight, as I work at my thesis. Gue pegang rekap nilai dari kampus, dan gue shock. Gue ngga tau harus gimana. To be honest, udah satu tahun belakangan ini gue hidup dibawah tekanan. Berat, tapi gue selalu optimis dan bilang "oke, jalan keluarnya begini dan besok harus dilakuin". I'm being hard on myself now. Karena gue harus beresin semua masalah yang udah gue perbuat, kesalahan yang dulu gue liat sebagai "kebebasan", kesalahan yang dulu gue liat sebagai "kesempatan". Don't get me wrong now, kesempatan hadir memang untun diambil tapi kalo kita cerdas kita pasti tau kesempatan itu patut diambil atau tidak.

Man..

I don't know. It's hard being me right now. Gue bahkan ngga bisa fokus ke skripsi. Terlalu banyak yang memberikan tekanan. Terlalu banyak yang menuntut. Terlalu banyak permintaan. Right now all I can do is wait until morning come, and talk to the campus about this and see what they said about this. Hopefully, all is fine.

Temen gue bilang "setelah kuliah tuntutannya pasti bakalan lebih banyak". Maybe ada benernya, tapi seenggaknya tuntutan itu yang bikin diri sendiri, bukan orang lain yang menuntut kita untuk begini dan begitu demi kepentingan mereka.

Man.. My wish this year is just to end it this year, that was all that I've been pray for. Gue selalu berdoa untuk bisa lulus bulan juli atau agustus. But why, why there is always test after test after test after test coming in my way and trying to stop me and drag me down. Pemikiran positif yang gue punya adalah "it's alright, lo lagi dikasih cobaan. Lo lagi diuji seberapa kuat dan sabar lo sebenernya. Come on, have a talk with God and let's see".

I always live in fear, live with fear is fine I guess. But not this. Gue selalu merasa takut. Ketakutan terbesar gue adalah gagal. Gue selalu berfikir "well I'm a big failure. I'm good at nothing and for nothing". And that's freaks me out. Dan dengan pilihan yang gue pilih dan konsekuensi yang gue hadapin sekarang, gue takut.

What I learned from tonight is: apapun yang dikatakan orang tua mu kepadamu, pahami dan pikir baik-baik. Dan selalu berfikir dua kali dalam mengambil keputusan.

Well sorry folks if I don't have something funny or good to share. I'm holding for my dear life now, scared as hell.

Peace out man, take care.

02.16 WIB